“My Cat Guards Me When I Poop?” Super Weird, My Theories
Listen, there are a lot of weird cat behaviours, but one of the most strange to the human eye that I feel exists is when cats literally seem to be guarding their humans as they poop or use the bathroom in general.
I’ve spoken about quite a lot of odd cat behaviours on this blog, the most similar to this behaviour being cats who follow their humans into the bathroom.
To be honest, some cats are obsessed with bathrooms in general and will even hop into the bathtub and meow, but following a human into a bathroom doesn’t seem to be that uncommon for cats.
Actually, I’d love to know if it’s just a cat thing in general because I have the sneaking suspicion that the vast majority of cats bathroom follow their humans and humans just don’t talk about it cause, it’s kind of a weird subject to be fair.
But every cat I know does this. And I’ve had 5 cats go through my house, some that are mine, some that I fostered for a while (and who are now adopted into my brother’s household).
They all followed me into the bathroom to an extent, some more than others, and some at different times because they all had different nap versus I-want-cuddles or I want-food-or-play-right-now schedules.
It’s just common to see them follow me in for an array of reasons. Even if I shooed them often to get them out in cases where I wanted a bit more privacy, or didn’t want to have to deal with their curious little selves trying to jump into the bath tub.
But leave me a comment down below if most of the cats you’ve lived with have bathroom followed cause I’d like to know. And now let’s get into the guarding, because this in itself is interesting.
Theories That Might Explain Why Cats Guard Their Humans While They Poop
1. Maybe cats like being guarded when they poop, so they guard you when you poop?
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” pretty much seems to apply to animals as well as humans, as my cats will often do things to me that are so ridiculously logical to do if only I were a cat, and that they’d enjoy if a cat were doing it to them.
Like kneading me – almost as though I’m a kitten they’re trying to take care of. I don’t have fur, so this hurts!! But they don’t know that, and I quite like the sentiment, so I typically place a blanket between me and my furry so they can continue on.
My best theory on why cats bite then lick humans is that this is what cats do when they’re grooming other cats – to get out excess debris and also cause mamma kitties often bite their cats to tell them to settle down so they can give ’em a better bath – and so they’re kinda grooming you too when they do it.
Some cats lick human hair like they’re groomin’ us, and some rub or headbutt our faces (my cat Avery does this ALL The time), or even lick humans’ faces, so they do all sorts of cat things to us.
If they’re doing what they would want us to do, or what they would do to other cats, why would guarding poops be a thing?
Well I definitely think cats like being guarded when they poop. A lot of my cats have told me right before entering the litter box. Or even waited until I was nearby to meow at me and then jump in the litter box to do their business.
Modko Modkat Sleek Minimalist Top Entry Litter Box – Amazon / eBay
This is with none of my cats having had UTIs (and yes I know this for sure, I am super paranoid about it since a lot of the cats in my family have had UTIs, luckily never my own).
They still do it, and even if there’s no other cat around, so it’s not a multi-cat home thing either.
I feel like it’s sort of built into them now – where if they get along with a human or a cat, they’ll tell them they’re using the bathroom so they can keep an eye out for predators or, more likely, another cat who might pick a fight thinking a cat’s pooping or peeing on their turf. Cats are territorial, so this makes sense.
If you don’t necessarily think your cat is guarding you, there could be other explanations for the behaviour.
But I’ve seen a lot of people state their cats go to the door and look out, or even lay on a mat outside a bathroom door – so if it’s actual guarding behaviour, which these things seem to be, this is my best guess as to the explanation behind it.
Petmate Booda Dome Litter Box – Amazon / eBay
2. Your cat may be keeping you company on your visit to the human litter box.
Cats are honestly like little shadows most of the time, following you around where you go because they give you passive, quiet, really low-key companionship.
Some are cuddle bugs, but most if not all will have places and times they like to interact with you passively, like when you’re sitting in the bathroom and they know you’ll be there for a hot second.
They may be following you because you got up from your desk and went to the bathroom, which woke them up and reminded them they needed to hang out with you, so they went to passively spend some quality time just existing near you. Totally possible!
Amazon Basics Large Cat Activity Tree – Amazon / eBay
3. Your cat may be trying to get some cuddles and attention from you.
Let’s tell the truth here – if you’ve ever had a cat follow you into the bathroom many times before – have you ever took the time to pet the cat – obviously as long as your hands were still clean?
I think most of us have. And if you have, there’s a good chance kitty’s there for some cuddles, at least some of the time.
Never done it? Or have a cat who’s more of a scoundrel who likes to get into trouble just a little bit? Try to scold your cat and get ’em to scram out of the bathroom?
Maybe they want that negative attention from you instead. Maybe it’s fun to bother you! Could be even better than playtime with their toys 😉
Petlinks Jeepers Creepers Catnip Rat Toy – Amazon / Chewy
4. Your cat may find your trips to the bathroom entertaining.
Somewhat along the same vein, but honestly, we are so bad at knowing what cats are going to be entertained by as humans that we think the next cat toy is surely going to be it – when it’s just always going to be the cardboard box the cat toy came in that’s far more entertaining to a cat.
Maybe your cat just likes watching you. Or weirding you out. Or the weird reactions you have when you follow your cat into the bathroom.
Cats love what’s off limits too. Is the bathroom door closed most of the time? Maybe that’s enough to really get your cat to want to spend as much time in the bathroom with you as possible. Guarding aside, maybe it’s just a, “Ooo let’s explore and sit here and watch the bathroom.”
Door open all the time? Maybe your cat forgot the bathroom existed until you walked into it and then decided to have a stroll through. Or maybe your cat’s just got a thing for following humans around when they’re moving to see if they’re doing anything fun or for passive companionship or whatever reason like most cats do.
Maybe it’s not guarding. Maybe it’s just you. And your presence being entertaining. What happens if you go into some random room right now and just sit for five minutes and leave. Is your cat following you? Curious and finding your movements entertaining enough to follow themselves? Could just be that.
5. Your cat could want something else from the bathroom.
Maybe it’s the cool floor that’s got him or her interested, maybe it’s the soap on the counter (which one of my cats has actually tried to eat before!), maybe it’s the fact that the sun is hitting a spot in the bathroom that’s so stinkin’ tempting he or she has to go sit or stand in it.
Whatever the case may be, it technically could be that your cat is after something else in the bathroom besides you and interacting with, or even guarding you.
Your Thoughts on Why Cats Guard Humans?
Why do you think cats guard their humans when they poop sometimes? Do you think they are really guarding their humans or are in the bathroom with them for some other reason?
Do any of your cats do this? Have you ever heard of a cat who does it in a peculiar sort of way?
Would love to hear any thoughts, experiences, stories, or theories on this topic! Let me know what you think in the comments section down below!
Elise Xavier
Have three pet cats, Avery, Bjorn, & Athos whom I love to bits. Obsessed with cats. Figured I might as well blog about ’em.
Fond of my fluffies? See more of them on my personal blog, E&T. Dig KittyClysm? Check out all the other blogs I pen & photograph.
Elise’s Favourite Tip
One of the most frustrating problems I’ve had to deal with as a pet parent is staying on top of my cats’ desire to play. While this is typically hard to do, toys like these that allow cats to play by themselves make the job one heck of a lot easier.
The hits in my household are ridiculously affordable: cat springs, ball track toys, & kick sticks. I have a slew scattered around the house, so when my cats get bored, even if I’m busy or not even home, my furries are able to actively play.
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Hi, I’m Elise! Welcome to KittyClysm – a blog for cat lovers & kitty keepers. Join me & my three grumpy-lookin’ old man cats – Avery, Bjorn, & Athos – as I discuss cat topics like funny cat behaviours, cat training tips, feline facts, pet care advice and so much more!
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